Archive for ‘September, 2013’

Promises, promises

Every week NOAA says that “next week” will be cooler and then as next week approaches…NOT!

It is not as hot as it had been, but it is still 10-15 degrees above normal for the 2nd week of September in Northwest Montana!

Some time ago, I stopped watering the grass… I noticed that the yellow jackets gravitated toward water sources so I decided to dry things up and see if that helped.

I brought in the herbie watering can, the boys’ water bowl (the boys were not out anyway), and shut down the sprinklers.

The good news is I haven’t had to mow!! I think I mowed 4 times before shutting things down. Oh, well.

The bad news is that it didn’t help the yellow jacket situation AND I lost my cilantro on Beardog Hill – not a show stopper for this summer.

Today, the high was 76F at my house…and an abundance of sun and blue sky.

Not horrible but it should be 66F!

But, Bear and I got outside a bit more than we have been.

Still…we got hot… and the yellow jackets – Bear likes them about as much as I do.

Inside sounded like a good idea.

NOAA…and Fall…Promises, promises!

Blue sky on a cloudy day

“Every cloud has a silver lining.”

Really??? I’ve been in airplanes and flown through light clouds and storm clouds and I never saw a silver lining…just foggy mist.

I know what the expression means, but today, looking at some dark clouds and thinking about life and loss…the expression came to mind and I thought… What? Where did that come from?

I don’t mind dark clouds on occasion. I’m talking clouds, not difficult or painful life happenings. I like the contrast and what happens to the light around and beneath the clouds.

I enjoy a dark cloudy day when I don’t want or need to be outside…when I can cozy up inside.

This morning, in the midst of the dark clouds: a bit of blue sky.

The blue sky is always there.

Sometimes it is obscured by clouds.

But it is there.

I sat in the Jeep with Bear, by the side of the road, looking – taking a photo when I felt like it…and thinking.

Just like a storm gathering, dark thoughts like dark clouds obscure joy.

It is easy for me to embrace the darkness at times. Holding on to grief is a way to hold on to Bob. Not a good way. I know this for myself from past experience but I also know that it can become a habit that is tough to break.

Behind the darkness of sadness and grief is the blue sky of happy memories and joy of time shared – not only with Bob but with every pet and every person I’ve loved who is no longer with me.

I can’t see any silver lining in loss but I can see that above dark clouds is clear blue sky.

And a Big Orange Sun :) !!

Today’s dark clouds brought some welcome rain.

And, it was a day when we could cozy up inside.

Farmer’s Market

After a morning perimeter walk, I loaded Bear in the Jeep and we headed to town.

The sun rose above the mountains, and lit the cut hay and wheat fields under low, dark clouds. It was a beautiful drive to town. I pulled over several times to let people in a hurry pass and so I could dawdle a bit and enjoy the light.

I bought myself breakfast, shared a bit with the Bear boy and we headed to the Farmer’s Market.

It is fun to arrive at the opening time with everyone fresh and ready to go. We were there 15 minutes early and people watched from a shaded parking spot until the 9:00 a.m. open.

It is prime time for all kinds of fruits and vegetables. I walked the entire market looking and deciding what and from who to buy.

I bought sunflowers from a booth that had sunflowers of all different sizes as well as displays of colorful flowers for drying – I didn’t know the vendor but something just called to me from this spot vs others with sunflowers.

Cherry tomatoes and zucchini from Swallow Crest Farm, my down the road farmer. Julian and I exchanged neighborly news as I made my selection.

Feta cheese from a Polson, MT cheesemaker. I live near the north end of Flathead Lake. Polson is 35 miles south at the southern end of the lake. I bought directly from Joe and he WAS wearing a Hawaiian shirt!

The honey is from a vendor I’ve bought honey from before. I was the only one at the booth at the time and asked about the yellow jackets. He told me they were bad this year but I could drag nothing more enlightening from him other than to destroy the nests. Oh, well…the honey is wonderful!

The sunflowers will brighten my window until I go back next week – I hope!

Farmer’s Market.

Friday

I’m glad this was a short work week.

I’m ready for the weekend.

I have big plans to do not much.

I think Bear has similar plans, excepting for guard duty which is nearly a full time beardog occupation.

We went to the Wild Fowl area today for a short walk – I planned on going to the lake but we were later than I wanted to be and it was hot…and muggy. We are having unusual September weather of warm/hot and humid.

They keep predicting heavy rain but so far, not at my house…just heavy damp air that is making me a bit head-achy.

But, it looked pretty.

And, it was good to drive to the area and nose around.

Bear and I are getting more comfortable. He stayed out in the yard a bit by himself this morning and seems more comfortable exploring further from me when we walk.

Friday.

Bottle feeding kittens aka how to chase away the blues!

No, I have not adopted a kitten or kittens!

I visited KittyMom’s Rescue this lunch hour to donate some of the pet steps (3 of 6!!!) and 2 boxes of insulin syringes. While at KittyMom’s there were some kitties needing lunch and I was happy to help.

And seriously…with kittens crawling all over me looking for food and then holding one and giving a small bottle… I ask you, could there be sadness of any kind??? I say NO!

And especially as the kitten I was feeding was all black except for a Mr. Bob orange colored streak between her vivid blue eyes. …vivid blue eyes which locked onto mine as she slurped up a special kitten formula…that left behind a milky-white mustache…her little paws holding my hand…and when finished she found a spot on my lap for a post-prandial kitten nap. Oh, boy.

But.

If it was just me, probably.

But there is Bear.

Bear is sticking close to me. He is not wanting to stay outside if I come in – even briefly. My sense is that he is feeling confused, disconcerted, unsure – where is Bob??? Mostly the same as me.

For me, it has been over 3 years …Karl, Bear, Bear and Bob, Bear, Bob… kind of a long, challenging, haul of emotion. Oh, and $$$$.

Bear has been through the loss of the person’s mother, the person, shuffling, cross-country move, adapting to Bob, Bob, losing Bob.

I’d like to think we could maybe have some “everyone healthy” time.

For the moment, we will just be two.

Yesterday, Tuesday, first full workday at home – a good day! A full workday, walks and play, we both ate well…AND…!!!

Some months ago, I took advantage of a pre-buy at deep discount…for some wood prints from my favorite photo lab: Simply Canvas.

I had until August 23 to place an order.

I’ve been dithering as I had an idea of some things to order but needed to find the original files.

Gah!

In the midst of the awfulness of the last weeks, the deadline. The lab gave me a short extension.

I ordered the above of Bob and am so very happy.

There are the 4.

WOW.

I’m not sure where they will all go. A major shuffling on my walls is in order.

For the moment, I am enjoying these new 4 right where they are.

And the capper.

This morning.

Sunrise, fog, the woods, thoughts of Bob and Bear, thoughts of Karl and Gus, thoughts of Zack.

Light and life and kittens and bottles and sun and Bear and love = NO Blues!!