How we’re doing
I’ve received emails and DM’s … how are you doing and I/we are thinking of you and Auggie.
Thank you so very much. I do not have the words to say how much those thoughts mean to me. Often there are a lot of condolences at the time but later … life goes on.
I shared nearly seven years of my life with Bear. Auggie shared most of his 4 1/2 years of life with Bear. Bear’s passing leaves a huge hole in both of our lives.
Still.
Auggie and I go forward. I work, I bake and cook, we go outside … snowshoeing and shoveling and just enjoying the outside.
Auggie still sticks close to me and whether it is the change in the house, the loss of Bear, the weather, the plethora of mice in the house … whatever, he is my good and sweet Auggie-boy and snuggle buddie!
As for me, I’ve progressed from the initial stages of shock (it does not matter if you know it was coming, the finality shocks), fear, relief (anticipation of having to make the decision …) and just an overwhelming feeling of loss … to a place of memory … sometimes laughing at something remembered, sometimes just feeling punched in the gut at the fact that he is not with us, sometimes just overwhelming love and gratitude for having shared some years.
Crap! It is hard.
But I do not regret one single moment.
And I cherish the memories:
4 Responses to “How we’re doing”
I’m glad to hear you are moving through the pain. I’ve been thinking about you, wishing you comfort and wondering how you and Auggie have been doing. It’s never not a shock and it is never not an overwhelming loss, but like you said, life continues forward. I’ve had to put a few animals down and I always did it alone, initially by circumstance and now by choice, and I realize now that I didn’t want to be surrounded by people at the time, I just wanted it to be done and to handle it by myself. It never helped me to have everyone gather round when it happens – it is just a glaring reminder of why they are there and for me, it just made the loss all the more painful when they were not there and I was left alone with a mountain of grief. I’d rather be alone with the grief from the beginning. I can totally relate to the carrying on and the gut-punch and feeling sad and then laughing throughout the day. I know what you mean about the relief . . .that you don’t have to still worry or wonder when, and you know he isn’t suffering now. My Wilma (calico cat) is 14 this year and her arthritis is starting to get to her. I might have to deal with this in a short while. I’m making every day count with her. I hope you continue to find comfort. I appreciate you posting about how you are doing with it all and your day to day life. :-)
Thank you for all of this, JP!
Lovely photos. Great memories of wonderful times shared.
Thank you, Margaret!
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