The “good” news is that Emmett is ok. He looked for Auggie the first 2 mornings, but has not seemed morose or otherwise disturbed.
For Emmett’s sake, I have focused on him and a varied routine to include some new games and new training/teaching. But that helps me as well.
And I also focused on getting my work done. My “boss” told me to take time if needed, but I know he is under some pressure and I wanted to deliver … plus, it helps me to stay in the work routine.
This weekend, things kind of fell apart for me.
That says it all.
And
Yes, well … I’m dealing with some emotional knots, but working on being more like my dear dog!
And enjoying some spring-like sunshine …
Right, then.
***Edit 3/15 7:30 a.m. The source of the quotes: Jean Grainger’s “Last Port of Call: The Queenstown Series”, is a wonderful and uplifting book. Although, it is the start of a series, the book stands on it’s own without a cliffhanger ending, but allowing for the series to continue. The characters are interesting and intelligent. The above quotes are just a few of the gems that were very comforting to me this week. A little about the plot: Queenstown, Ireland, was the final port of call for Titanic in 1912 and the story starts there, but the port was a port of call for many Irish, immigrating to America to escape the unrest and devastating economic conditions of that time.
On Monday afternoon, Auggie was hit and killed near the road.
A neighbor witnessed the driver of a large pickup swerve to intentionally hit Auggie.
She went immediately to see if she could help Auggie, but he was dead. She called another neighbor, who called me and they all waited for me and were with me as I recovered Auggie’s body.
All wanted to camp on the road and wait to “catch” the person. I was certainly ready to do murder, but another part of me knew that I did not want to act as bad as the person who killed Auggie.
Everyone stayed with me for a bit. I had wrapped Auggie in his blanket. There was little visible trauma, which I am grateful for.
I am also grateful that the incident was witnessed and I was called immediately so that I did not go through the looking and finding on my own.
I called my vet, who is only 15 minutes away and they handle transport to a crematory and return of the cremains. As they all know and love Auggie, this gave them a chance to say goodbye. They cried with me when I dropped him off.
When I got home, I let Emmett sniff my hands and the Jeep and a towel that had held Auggie. He looked up at me … I think he knew … He has not seemed down or anything other than his normal loving self … happy to go for walks and play. He has looked on top of the chairs where Auggie would often nap. He typically stays close to me and that has not changed.
So.
I have been up and down the anger spectrum and written murderous, hateful notes and scenes in my head. I think I am past that, recognizing it as a waste of time both for me and my well-being and with the knowledge that a person who would do such a thing has issues that a confrontation would not touch.
At the current moment, as I write this, I am grateful that Auggie did not lie near the road for very long. If the person drove by even fairly soon after, there would be no satisfaction in seeing anything. I think that is the best thing for me and for Auggie’s dignity in death and also for Emmett who I am sure picks up my emotional states.
I did report the incident to the Sherriff’s office Animal Control, so a description of the vehicle is logged.
Now, Emmett and I move forward. We are doing a bit of extra walking and playing, primarily because it helps me when I get feeling bad or disoriented/distracted. I’m working as that concentration is helpful as well as there is a work commitment … and the mortgage, etc. :)
I spend some time looking at photos to help me get to the “remembering Joy”.
Auggie was a special cat: affectionate, playful, beautiful, companionable and I miss him so very much.
***a note about comments. I closed them for this post. It is for me. At this moment, I cannot … I just cannot … I needed to write this post for me but I need to be still in my own space with Emmett for a bit.
Good grief! Here we are in a place I doubt most of us have ever been: a global health crisis … a pandemic. And while here in the U.S. we are not (at least not as of this writing) an epicenter, we are also certainly not an outlier. Mostly, I don’t think we know where we are given the lack of testing compared to other parts of the world.
At my house, it is pretty much “as usual”. I’ve worked from a home office for nearly 35
years. As of this writing, I have no
indication that my work will be disrupted, but I am not counting on that at
all, at all and given that I did not work for 4.5 months last year, my reserves
are not much so spending is currently for necessities only. But, my pantry, frig and freezer are full,
full, full – mostly thanks to the fact that I keep them that way over Winter
and was just starting to think about “eating down” when things changed. So, I continue the Winter grocery shopping
paradigm. And fortunately, I have not
yet experienced much in the way of shortage locally … well, T.P. and hand
sanitizer but I got a jump on the T.P. and I’m a soap and water person with a
home water well so was not in the sanitizer market anyway.
As far as getting ill, I have low exposure: I work from home, I don’t belong to groups
and my main socialization is via the internet.
I am truly grateful for my internet connections! Also for several wonderful neighbors as well
as some townsfolk and small business relationships. I feel incredibly fortunate in that I am both
used to and prefer a somewhat hermit-like lifestyle.
The worst thing I ever worry about is my animal companions. Emmett and Auggie are well and in addition to
the human foodstuffs in pantry and freezer, there is extra for them as well –
thanks Chewy.com!!
I will say that Auggie-boy gave me a few more white hairs
this past week when he pulled a late night … 1:00 a.m. arrival!
Sleeping off a very late night of ???
Completely out of character and routine and I don’t
know: he got shut in somewhere, treed by
something, extra cat business … GAH!
Otherwise, I have read the science and the scientist
recommendations: social distancing, wash
your hands … wash your hands … wash your hands.
All easy and doable for me.
Other than the pets, my worries are for people who do not
have the resources to withstand the 60-90-120 days of whatever they must deal
with: work from home, no work, kids out
of school, small business loss … and all of the trickle down affects of a
drastic change in lifestyle: work, play
… life.
All of that said …
and I would not wish this virus or any of the negative affects on anyone
… still, it is here and we must go forward as best we can … there may be some
incredible things that come of this:
The recognition that we do NOT need quite as many “public” events: think of the $$$$ that are spent for political campaigning “in person” that we might now see happen virtually … and not only that kind of event, but also other business marketing events. Do we really need to fly here there and everywhere to some conference, spending an inordinate amount of carbon budget when we could do just as well with a virtual event? I.E. might we accomplish some climate change goals as we come to terms with dealing with the global health crisis? Just imagine!!! Greta Thunberg writes eloquently on this topic and has encouraged “online” climate strikes during this time of required social distancing, i.e. no gatherings.
The
recognition that many of us do NOT need to work from an “office” or other work
location. In the last 10 years of my
work from home life, the amount of work we accomplish as a team via
collaborative software: Zoom,
GoToMeeting, Webinars … I am so used to
working with others via the internet that I don’t even think about travelling
for any work reason. BUT, even the technical world is not completely ready …
issues of security : https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/silicon-valley-was-first-to-send-workers-home-its-been-messy/ar-BB11b9vj?ocid=spartandhp
In my personal tech world, we talk
security ALL.THE.TIME, but we do not deal with extremely sensitive date or
protocol, so I definitely see issues with a lot of businesses. But, those can and will be resolved … remotely!
The
recognition that even socially, we *can* keep in touch via Facetime, Skype and
other virtual solutions. I am not
advocating zero face to face/in person socialization, but especially in this
kind of crisis and even as we all live further apart … there are earth friendly
options.
Telemedicine! This option has been available to me from my clinic as well as my insurer. What a great option! So many times, I would like to provide information, receive guidance and onward! Not only with my physician, but also my veterinarian. Both have been good with this, but with my vet … things are not in place to allow fees. As a consultant, who works on a $/hour, I have zero issues with being charged for phone/email/info exchange time and would rather do that than subject myself and/or my animal companions to a visit if not necessary. Currently, drive-through COV-19 test sites are being set up/tested … I am unclear how far along they are, but WOW … wonderful innovation and adaptation to challenging times.
Earth friendly.
I do not have children and so also no grandchildren, that will be impacted by the atrocious decisions made by me and my generation. But, I still wish to do what I can to mitigate the damage and inspire others to do what they can as well: fossil fuel reduction, plastic/poly reduction, over consuming … I keep thinking that I’ve gone “green” and then I find that other thing that I use/buy/send to landfill …it is crazy-hard, but I believe, absolutely necessary that we all do as much as we can.
The future is at stake.
As Greta Thunberg says:
“our house is on fire”.
It is! … and we need to stop thinking that the future will take care of itself. It will NOT unless we, all of the people on the planet Earth, educate ourselves on the science of the current global health crisis as well as the climate change crisis.
We must change how we consume, how we live and interact. That is, if we hope that planet Earth
continues to be viable for future generations.
I realize that there are different views on how we do this. I don’t intend to get into those. There is a lot of information available on
options: food choices, product packaging
awareness, travel options … and the impact of all of our choices.
Meanwhile, I think we all have opportunities to think of others. If we are in a comfortable spot … is there a
neighbor who is not? Can we offer to share
items or help someone get items? And for
those of us who currently do not have interruption of income or internet … how
can we help someone who might have those issues? In a time, when maybe our normal
“entertainment” is disrupted … good golly … so much opportunity to think about
how to help other people, to learn something new, to explore something that we
have not because there did not seem to be time to do that.
It is difficult to remain positive all of the time as our “normal” existence has been so drastically altered with the added uncertainty of how long it might go on. I think it is important, now at the beginning, to think how I can/will combat frustration, anxiety-depression at not being able to do things as I’d like.
We can focus on all of the things that we cannot do …. OR we can focus on all of the things that we CAN do. I am making a list of things I CAN do to keep in front of me.
It is a challenging and sometimes scary time, but there are
also incredible opportunities to learn, to help, to consider change.
Good grief … last week was Thanksgiving weekend and here we are just a wee bit over 2 weeks until Christmas!
Life is now back to our normal :) … as in working, being paid timely (all is caught up and resolved YEA!!!) and we had a scrumptious Thanksgiving dinner of turkey and stuff … AND hung stockings and decked halls.
That UCLA Bruin was a gift from friends many years ago. It has survived Karl, Gus, Bob, Bear and now Auggie and Emmett…
… hopefully. Emmett has “borrowed” it from under the tree on several many occasions. Thankfully, no harm done to the Bruin. I sent a photo to my coworkers who both attended UCLA … wondering how it had survived all of these years, and received this reply:
It has survived because it is ‘Bruin Strong’.
Go Bruins! Fight! Fight! Fight!
I believe I have mentioned that I love my work group and am very grateful for the team that I work with. And am grateful for work that I love that allows me to live in a place that I love and enjoy the outdoors with my pets!
So … the weather ??? After an early start to Winter … in September … some snow, some cold and now it is warm-ish but gray and low cloud deck.
So we start the dark mornings with coffee and electric fire …
…and general togetherness.
But the length of the dark mornings often leads to a bit of pestering play :)
This week, though… a new toy for outside time:
Although I played softball into my 40’s: third and then first base … my throwing acumen has seriously degenerated.
Emmett LOVES to play fetch.
So, this launch toy. It is great fun! I’m not sure which of us has more fun.
The ring goes a good distance, but it does float! Emmett is still learning about how it goes, compared to a stick or the throw toys we have played with.
BIG.FUN!!
I hope to take some video!
Meanwhile, we enjoy some spectacular color: snow up high, dark cloud background and some gold from a sun trying to break through…
Good, good times enjoying the work and play routine … the holiday vibes and just generally being beyond grateful that all has worked out to continue as we were.
A quick “Happy 10 months” to Mr. Emmett post and some Auggie news … (all is well, but a warning that there are some graphic images!!)
AND, if you follow my Instagram stories … repeats, but the schedule has been overfull lately.
Yes, Emmett is 10 months old and has been part of the fambly for 8 months – unbelievable!!
Still has a blonde bottom and gorgeous tail feathers :)
Meanwhile…
Auggie came in Monday afternoon with a kind of spectacular wound. We got right into the vet – fortunately 15 minutes away in Bigfork. After a shave, cleanup and antibiotic shot, we came home.
Auggie was pretty sanguine about the whole thing and has been complaining about my enforcement of inside time. My reply is: “You MAY NOT go outside with a hole in your head!”
XXL wire crate is now used only when I go out and about and can not take Emmett with me. Emmett does “go to crate” with no hesitancy!
Mostly, the house is now WIDE OPEN – YEA! We still have gates for some times when Emmett and/or Auggie have “the crazies”.
Crazies generally happen early morning or late afternoon.
The bedroom. The bedroom with NO “pen”. Currently, Emmett “goes to his bed” after some pre-bed snuggles. He sleeps in his bed or on the floor until about 3:00 a.m. when he wakes. I hear him shake and then pitter-patter and he comes on MY bed and settles.
Speaking of settling… this is a culmination of teaching Emmett and Auggie to settle – HOO RAH!
